Miss Amerikiddingme?

I can be catty.

Ok, I  admit it. I can be.  It doesn’t happen often….probably because I don’t hang out with many other girls.  You know how cattiness is encouraged by other females.

But last night. Oh last night. Last night V.G and I sat around and watched Miss America.  Oh boy howdy!  We critiqued and giggled and mocked while the women pranced around in their high heels and bathing suits. Were we really that far off the mark?

Our favorite of the night were the talents.  She and I both feel awkward when women start dancing by themselves…the ballerinas and such.  Perhaps because I would rather amputate a limb than have to dance/sing in front of others.  But the coup de grace was the ventriloquist country singer. 

Take a moment. Take that in. Ventriloquist. Country singer.  Complete with two country dummies.  Dummies….braids and freckles for the girl…bow tie for the fella.  Creepy eyes for both.

The least creepy pic I could find

And that girl got up on that stage and sang a country song and those dummies sang right along with her.  Bless her heart.

What I learned last night:

• I have no sense of style (ok, I didn’t learn that last night)  but wow…..evening gowns.  I found only one that I tolerated.
• Beyond not being tall enough or having enough self esteem, I could never be in a pageant because I certainly do not have an appropriate pageant talent.
• Ventriloquism dummies make me really uncomfortable.  I’m  certain they come to life at night.
• I giggled everytime the women said they joined Miss America so that people would take them seriously in their future careers.

Here she comes….