If you work in an office or a school, you’ve probably encountered the Christmas tradition of Secret Santa. Basic concept, right? I get a name of a co-worker, I go and buy stuff they may possibly like…but more likely it’s a bunch of crap because I don’t actually know this person or it’s stuff I would like to get, and then I sneak into their workspace like a deranged elf and drop off said gifts, completing the spectacle with a barrel roll as I escape out of sight. And the rewards for my effort? I also get similar crap dropped off while I was away, invoking an illogical fear of someone being in my unattended classroom.
So, this year I once again joined a Secret Santa. Why not, right? They’ve always gone so well before…
Like the year my Secret Santa moved away before giving me my gift, but made sure to get the gifts I left.
Or like the year I didn’t have an actual Secret Santa because my name somehow got misplaced.
Or how about the year that it was my arch-enemy in middle school was my Secret Santa. Yeah…. those home-baked cookies from her were thrown out once we announced our Secret Santa identities.
Alright, so I was looking for vindication this year. We’re all adults. Better yet, we’re educators! Surely it’ll be better.
Day 1 Drop off: And so I found myself ninja diving behind desks to deliver the gifts I bought. Oh! And don’t forget the adorable poem I wrote copied and pasted from the Internet and put in her gift bag. Oh so clever!
Day 1: I returned to my desk and found a six pack of rootbeer and Flipz pretzels. I thought it was great snack and a nice attention to detail (as we wrote out a lil’ survey of our favorite snacks). And just like me, my Secret Santa chose to go small on the first day, and then give the big gift on Day 2.
Day 2 Drop Off: I dove and scampered to get my gift there while my giftee was away. After a successful drop off, I conveniently made myself scarce, thus making it easy for my Secret Santa to deliver the second gift.
Day 2: I returned to my desk to find a bag of chips. I looked around to see if perhaps the larger (read: the gift that would have brought the total of gifts up to the requisit $20) gift had fallen under my desk. Nope… it was all that…a bag of chips.
Damn you Secret Santa, damn you! Thwarted again.
