Faulty Parent

I had to send my dog to boot camp.

I would like to say first off, before you judge me, that I think it’s society’s fault. She grew up with another family, she was too much for them, so she was then sent to me. The system failed her. She didn’t know English- she only understood Hindi.  You can imagine how confusing that is for a chil…er..dog..    Furthermore, she watches way too much tv and listens to that damn rap music.  She may have ADHD. I’m going to get her tested. She can’t be controlled. It is not-I repeat- is not my fault.

Basically it boiled down to this:  It was just one too many trash cans.  She rooted around in just one too many trash cans and it was finally the last straw. So when The Boy and I went North (read: The Great White Holy Frack It’s Cold Up Here) for Christmas, my 7 year old dog went for a two-week intensive training course.  Please note that I said my dog.    She is mine whenever she misbehaves or requires a lot of money. But when she’s cute and cuddly.. well , just watch all the ours being thrown around.  The dog probably picks up on that. Her behavior is The Boy’s fault. She has abandonment issues.

So tomorrow, The Boy and I will be going to pick up our fur child and will be in a 90 minute training session.  I expect they’ll hand the leash to me, laugh, and walk away…but maybe I’m just cynical.